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Yvonne Nelson’s Book is a victory for fatherhood

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1 year ago

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Imagine being a dad, trying to navigate the challenging path of fatherhood while being separated from your family due to life’s circumstances. That’s been my reality for the past few years.

You see, I’ve been away on the journey to acquire higher education in the white man’s land, while also ‘hustling’ to ensure that my family’s needs are catered to. It hasn’t been easy. I’ve missed precious moments with my kids, but I’ve always tried to be a part of their lives whenever I can.

Yet, I understand the pain of being temporarily denied seeing your children, as they can become pawns in the battle between two adult parents. Denying a kid access to either of their parent is dangerous.

As they are mostly with the mother, they can easily be influenced and manipulated to turn against a father who has done everything to stay connected in their lives. They may even start being nonchalant. It’s heartbreaking, and that can leave a man with lifelong enemies from his blood.

Our elders say a team is as good as its weakest link. They also say that only a mother truly knows the father of her kids. Yvonne Nelson’s story reveals the good, the bad and the ugly of a family situation where a father was intentionally cut out of his daughter’s life by the mother. 

Research suggests that girls who grew up without a father figure tend to engage in risky behaviours as they mature (Flirty, Promiscuous if you like). Also, women who lack a father figure often struggle with self-esteem and confidence issues. They are easily swayed and manipulated by others.

For some, the absence of a father figure fuels a deep longing for the family they never had while growing up. I am not here to debate the validity of these studies, but I encourage you to ponder on them and come to your conclusion.

 If it’s proven that a father’s presence and responsibility in the home impact the life of their children, then intentionally denying a child access to their father is an incredible act of selfishness.

It is a desire for one person to showcase manipulative power over innocent children who have been deprived of love. The ability to spend time with both parents is mostly about the child’s rights. In the instance that it is impossible to have that, due to domestic quarrels or challenges between the parents, there are avenues to ensure everyone gets the time needed to interact with the child.

Of course, if it is proven that the father is a danger to the child due to ill health or a medical condition, that becomes a legitimate concern.  Have you ever wondered why children are placed in foster homes when their parents cannot care for them?

Now let’s delve into Yvonne Nelson’s story. If you haven’t read the book, I am not Yvonne Nelson, here is a short introduction. Yvonne is a Ghanaian movie star, almost reaching her forties. Through her exceptional craft, she has successfully carved an idol out of herself in the minds of movie lovers.

However, she has never known her biological father, despite her mother telling her that Nelson was her dad.  All of her life, she had self-doubt about her mother’s claim. As a child, she usually scanned Nelson’s physical features and found little resemblance. As if that was not enough, her mother filled her head with horrible lies about Nelson, fueling her hatred of him just like patrol does to fire. 

As it happened, Nelson’s outrage at having to take responsibility for Yvonne, even when they lived apart, made him mistreat her. On his deathbed, burdened by guilt, he called her to apologize for how he treated her.  

As the frail Nelson was about to breathe his last, Yvonne’s mother finally succumbed to her question, “Mum, are you sure Mr. Nelson is my father?” Her mother’s response was negative. The surname of the man she carried was not her father. Yvonne’s mother reveals the name of another man (Mr. Peter Ala Adjetey, a former Speaker of Parliament in Ghana’s parliament), now deceased.

Yvonne goes out of her way to connect with the children of her supposed father, only to be met with a negative DNA test. Once again, her quest to discover her true father hits a dead end! Yvonne’s daughter may never know her maternal grandfather. Yvonne may never know her father, even if her mother has the answers.

It may also be that the mother doesn’t know the father, but surely, a simple head count of her relationship should have the potential father somewhere, in there, somehow. The lesson here is simple yet profound.  Many of us take for granted the blessing of having grown up with both of our parents.

We take the love and the knowledge they have spent and shared with us in our formative years for granted. We must be grateful for those experiences. At the same time, Yvonne’s story serves as a warning to mothers or women who manufacture monsters out of the fathers of their children-fabricating lies, stories, and hatred towards them because of past grievances. If you are a young woman and have not had the opportunity to grow with your father, I encourage you to speak with them and have all your doubts cleared while they are alive.

I congratulate Yvonne for boldly asserting her right to know her true father and calling out her mother’s lack of forthrightness on her burning quest. The topics she discussed in her book are mostly seen as taboo, not to be spoken in public, only to be discussed in the corner of our bedrooms.

 In a society where parents cannot even discuss sexual topics with their children, many see Yvonne’s narration as out of line. I say it isn’t!  If you are a man or a potential father, I call on you to stand up for Yvonne Nelson. Her decision to ensure that the father of her daughter does not miss out on his daughter’s life even as they are not together is commendable. On behalf of good fathers everywhere, I wish Yvonne Nelson all the best of luck as she continues to search for her real and true father.

But wait! The book has so many other interesting themes.  Part two of my critical review of I not Yvonne Nelson, follows soon.

The writer is a Ph.D. Research Fellow in Norway. He views himself as a global citizen and has a deep love for books. In his spare time, Larry likes to connect with and inspire other young people.

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Entertainment

Peter Okoye reacts to alleged song ownership by twin brother

Published

2 weeks ago

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November 11, 2024

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Iconic Nigerian singer Peter Okoye has responded to allegations made by his twin brother Paul over ownership of a new song “Winning.”

Peter Okoye shared a detailed account of the song’s creation, clarifying his role and collaboration with others, including Ghanaian producer Vampire and songwriter Calypso.

He questioned Paul’s claims, citing their agreed-upon creative process and Paul’s removal of his (Peter’s) vocals from joint songs.

Peter also addressed his temporary break from music, stating he took time to recharge before returning with “Winning.”

He wrote on X: “If you have followed my journey as a solo artiste and even before, you will notice that I give people their due credit where necessary as I am a firm believer in teamwork; I know my strengths, where I need assistance or guidance I am not afraid to ask or work with those who are strong in the areas I am not; this includes the process of creating music, executing concepts and ideas etc. I will always credit people for their contributions to my projects.

“Sometime in June 2022, I stumbled upon a producer based in Ghana named Vampire, and my team and I also personally reached out to him via DM, that I liked his work and was interested in working with him. Before getting him to Lagos, I presented the idea of this producer to my twin brother and our team, getting their buy-in before I got him flight tickets and flew him to Lagos.“

It was when he got into Lagos I asked if he would be open to working on P-SQUARE’s next album project, that the 5 songs I had penned down from my end to be presented to our A&R team for the album project were: JAIYE, WINNING, FIND SOMEBODY, LEGENDARY, and ATTENTION, based on tracks he had produced.

“We started with my own 5 songs that needed to be submitted for PSQUARE’s album, which he produced for me: The idea for WINNING came from one of his beats that I discovered. I came up with the idea of changing the chord progression from the original version to what it is today with my own producer Goldswarm who is the co-producer of the song WINNING.

“I had also engaged a songwriter known as CALYPSO who wrote and composed the song WINNING and sent it to me on the beats through a voice note. And we started working on the song. Mind you, he worked on some other songs that were to make the album as well, so my brother was aware of his input to the production as we were all in the studio during this period.

“Then when my twin brother heard the song WINNING, which we had already created the hook/chorus for, he then wanted to start creating a verse. Our agreed-on process for each song presented by us was: arrange the song, leave a verse for the other person, then we both harmonise the chorus and refrain bits together. He wasn’t supposed to until Calypso and I finished it as part of my own song submission to the LEGENDARY ALBUM.

“After that, we finished and shared verses among ourselves. I do not wish to get into details of why the album didn’t see the light of day till date but it takes a different level of psychosis for one to steal what is theirs already; as since the release of this song, I have been labeled and called all sorts online and they have even gone as far as asking for the song to be taken down on various platforms, to what end?

“It was never part of his 5, now 6 (according to him) songs for submission, yet when he felt I was not interested in making music because I chose my sanity over the constant berating and drama that seemed to come up over creative direction in the group.

“If it were his song, why do I have all the music data including initial conversations and picture/video evidence on the above-mentioned titles/songs? Which of his songs do I have its data in my possession in that case? All because he was hoping for me to quit music. Even when I learnt that he had removed my vocals on songs we did together, suggesting that he sing the entire songs including the ones that he planned to present for the album without my input (a very absurd idea as we both make up the duo not just the one), but we both perform them on stage, I begun to have a rethink of the entire situation. Let me leave this here.

“Maybe because I was not posting anything music-related on my social media page for over 4 months. He believes I have lost interest in music. I took a breather to get my mind and head in the right space and when that was done, my epiphany was WINNING!”.

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DNA test more important than naming ceremony- Don Jazzy

Published

2 weeks ago

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November 11, 2024

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producer and executive, Don Jazzy, has urged men to prioritise the paternity of their children, stating that it is more important than a naming ceremony.

On his Instagram story, Don Jazzy emphasised: “DNA test is more important than naming ceremony.”

His statement comes amid ongoing debates about the necessity of DNA tests, fuelled by recent high-profile cases of paternity fraud.

Don Jazzy known in real life as Michael Collins Ajereh is the founder of Mavin Records – through which he has signed artistes including D’Prince, Rema, and Ayra Starr.

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Entertainment

Pastor Love jailed 48 months in hard labour for stealing

Published

2 months ago

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October 2, 2024

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Pastor Hammond Love, widely known as Pastor Love, has been convicted of theft and sentenced to 48 months in prison with hard labour.

GBC Ghana Online reports that Pastor Love, a former husband of gospel musician Obaapa Christie, was found guilty of the offence after seven years of trial. 

Before he was sentenced, Pastor Love pleaded with the court for mercy, adding that he was willing to pay any fine that would be imposed on him. 

The court presided over by Isaac Addo, took into consideration the fact that the convicted Pastor Love was a first-time offender.

The court held that as a Pastor, he was expected to hold a high level of integrity, especially in matters of trust, and therefore handed him the 48-month jail term as a fair deterrent. 

The facts of the case as presented by ASP Frimpong was that in 2016 one Samuel Amankwah, a resident of the US, shipped a 4×4 vehicle into Ghana and tasked Pastor Love to clear it from the port. 

The convict cleared the said vehicle with his money, after which the complainant told him to sell it for US$50,000 and deduct the amount he paid as duty.

Later, the complainant told Pastor Love to hold on with the sale of the vehicle as he would travel to Ghana and refund his money. 

In April 2017, the complainant arrived in the country and contacted Pastor Love for his vehicle, but he could not produce it despite several demands. 

The complainant complained with the Police and Pastor Love was arrested in May 2017. 

During interrogation, the convicted Pastor Love told the Police that he secured a loan of GH¢40,000 with 20 per cent interest to clear the vehicle and was accruing more interest, so he sold the vehicle at GH¢80,000 without the consent of the owner and paid GH¢70,000 to the loan company.

Meanwhile, Pastor Love was unable to lead the Police to the said loan company to verify the claim and could not also tell who bought the vehicle. 

The Judge said the convict was dishonest to the Court.

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